Monday, April 30, 2012

Me Men Meeting


Me and men meet well. I am a feminine woman with many delicate attributes. I am a petite person with small bone structure and I am rather shorter than statistically the average person. I like my feminine ways, soft heart, poetic reading, fashion flare. I am also a lover of jewels of many kinds and have array of different fabrics and feelings. I have a rather girlie cheery voice.

HOWEVER, I like to shoot guns, watch fighting, I come alive in emergency situations. I adore professional meetings with either gender discussions at hand, focused. I like the sports of contact. I like to learn about all kinds of people, places and things. Some of the time things I care to learn about could be categorized as a “man thing”. My husband works as a Fireman with 14 men. When I have visited in the past there was a sense people would not show their true face due to my gender and respect to Steve. As the years have gone by words “slip” the joking is real and my gender is no longer obviously noticed at least. I have crossed the line and now I am part of the “brothers”. Like a Fire-woman would have to be. I like to be treated like a woman and love the chance to role with the punches too.

In the glove and flesh I was born into sometimes it is hard to be voiced and seen for things I really have to say. A woman I have come across on twitter described it perfectly on a writing piece she wrote: It is regarding being mis-understood.

I really enjoyed the movie Moneyball with Brad Pitt,: . I admired the no nonsense direction in the movie too. It was focused on statistics (I fancy numbers) building a team, obtaining a goal. There are no scenes or close to no scenes that I can remember with any women in it. I favor how a lot of men meet and do not beat around the bush and discuss out ideas and solve problems. I seem to get a long with men very well and it is not what the main stream world would think as to why. I like to get to the issue and topic at hand. Women can do this too and incorporate great ideas in an integrated group, character etc.. I have had the fortunate experience of that in the past and it is in men leadership that have taken part in encouraging me to roar. In my career history it is the men managers that have taught me well and an admirable woman too.

Women have the make-up of our female bodies which should not be an issue in tackling, tasks working business obstacles but it can be and is a reality. My eyes were raised on a news air that came over the public wire not to long ago. It was regarding a woman by the name of Debrahlee Lorenzana here is the link to the article: I have mixed opinions on this subject matter. She was fired for being too sexy. I know from study and being married to a man that men tend to be more visual. Mrs/Ms Lorenzana is a voluptuous sexy woman who was playing with the big bank dogs. If you are going to be in such an environment you are going to have to work even harder to be taken seriously. It is the fact of life. We are flesh and blood humans with scientific physical, emotional responses. However, we are more than just animals we are human beings continuously renew your thinking and mind. I have to.

I respect how the military has covered cookie cut uniforms. I understand why schools in demographic areas that have been gang related wear uniforms. It all makes sesne to me. Some of the outfits Debrahlee Lorenzana wore are perfectly covered  others really formed to a flattering eye. I am not attracted to my side but even I would have my eyes widen as if to say that is round and sticks out there and there. Funny for me it would be like putting a straight line with three circles in different places you don't notice the straight line but bump then round, round, round or viewing a graph at a glace and you notice the raise in what is high on the graph, peak, peak, peak. Sometimes I think geometrically:). I don't know Mrs./Ms Lorenzana.I hope she careers and personalizes beneficially for her own life and goals. It is a shame, if she was fired for her looks. I do wish her blessings on her endeavors.

I meet with men well but don't just look at just the shell. One may sound like a mouse but have a spirit bigger than a house. :)

Men, Me and Meetings

Adriana Johnson

Thursday, April 19, 2012

So Now What?

April 19, 2012, 1:37 PM MST
Tempe, Arizona, United States of America

So Now What?

I volunteer at the Phoenix Zoo and this past Monday I was observing insects while I was reading my informational book. There was a large beautiful moth that landed near me as I was reading. There was cotton all around me like snow. We call it snow in the desert when the cotton wood trees blossom. As I continued to read for a little bit my book slipped. The moth scurried up in the air and a big black bird grabbed it. Then another bird flew near by and they both engaged in fighting for the moth.

I thought about how nothing happens by chance; but we all have our own free will to make choices that alters our journey. A lot of great joys, heartaches, choices, things happened to me out of my control, a book slipping so to write. These twists and turns of life have put me where I am at in my life right now writing at my dinning room table. I am the woman at the zoo that is looking at the past with shocked eyes saying so now what the bug has been eaten, the fight happened, others have been fed so now what season must I go to? I suffered Postpartum Depression and Anxiety intensely over two years ago, I lost a co-worker to cancer two jobs ago who prayed I would get pregnant and I never told him I got pregnant before he died. Here was his blog: .My Mom's friend a dear friend of the family was dieing in the same hospital I was giving birth at. I did not say good by, her blue hand made blanket for my son sits in my house; and I regret not visiting her in the town she resided in close to me when she was still alive. My husband and I had problems getting pregnant for three years. We now have a gorgeous two year old son.

I went at physical fitness with force had knee surgery, broke a toe and will continue to exercise as part of my life. I have been fired from a job and had problems getting back into the work force. I have helped people get jobs, encouraged people who have moved on and carried on and I am grateful for friends and family. In that I am still left feeling like the cotton in the wind so now what? Where will the Roar, Whisper of the wind go? I have been picked and plucked out of the cotton wood tree. So now what? I went through a heart wrenching, soul tattering 15 week bible study that had me metaphorically sweating more than any triathlon would have given me. I got in the boxing ring with my demons, many of them. I just got through with the study Mending the Soul by Steven R. Tracy. It was the most necessary boot camp in my life and I highly recommend it. However, I am left tattered and open and vulnerable asking so now what? I feel like possibly a soldier may experience after coming home from combat. So now what?

I feel like how they portray the prisoner in Shawshank Redemption who spent most of his life in prison and did not know how to assimilate to being outside of prison walls. He seemed to ask So now what? In the scene he unfortunately made a drastic decision to end it. That is not where I am at and pray if you are reading this and you are reach out and get help; but I still ask so now what God? , Life. I have gotten excited and announced jobs, situations prayers etc to have had the rug pulled out under me. I am trying to learn more wisdom, more quiet thought and the whisper character of being a little more reserved. I am not ashamed of me and my bubbly self but I want to always work on what kind of vessel I am being. I am at a crossroads, to work to not work and how?. I stare at my sons beautiful face and say, so now what, how can I? Should I?. I have grown more attached to him in this season of not working. It is only a question I can answer. I connected on social network last year to air hurts, anger and did not expect it, but have connected with a wonderful ministry and have found some dear friends. They are all a delight along w my other close friends. Everybody has their families and goals and I have to create my own goals. The point is I know God is there no matter what in the so now what? I will try and tread softly investigate, move, live and experience the voyage and try to be full of God's truth and it is perfectly human to say so now what Lord?

In your voyage during crossroads may you find discernment if you ask so now what? Know there will be an answer and keep on keeping on! Don't give up the fight. I am not. Don't live in regret or completely in the hurt turn it into God's workmanship and carry on. There are new season's ahead.

The Lord Says, “I will make you wise and show you where to go.” Psalm 32:8

Adriana Villafane-Johnson
Tempe, Arizona United States of America

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Blame, Shame, Flame

April 4th, 5:19 PM
United States America, Tempe, Arizona

Blame, Shame, Flame

I have been going through a soul search of healing. Opening the curtain of my past, the blame, the shame the dark spots of should not haves by me, by others. Deeply by others. In doing so I have had the great privilege of many sparkles of light entering in my life in the forms of friends and family. These shades of light have been bright and have had their own hold into this journey of mine. They have walked me to the dark waters edge, they have warned me of a title wave, they have directed me. They have held my hand and gotten into the water. They have lifted me into the boat. They have handed me the oar and said “you got this, keep going!” They have lifted me out of the vessel and on dry land to the island I had to go to. Then they walked, ran with me through the jungle saying “you are true you are you! and you got this!”. Then I arrived at the mountain I was to climb up. They roared and whispered “you will overcome”. Off I went and I hiked it. I had to hike it alone. I looked into my past. Similar to a part in the movie of October Baby different people in different angles held my hand understood I had to do this. I had to look I had to find out who was that, what? Who? is actually the dragon of bad thoughts. I climbed the mountain I made it to the top. It happened ….I FORGAVE. I let go of the shame, the blame and stepped into Gods flame. There is a whole valley below of not knowing but that is ok I am going to be great in the twists and turns, downs, lows and highs. I am Adriana Villafane-Johnson and I am an apple in the creators eyes and I SUPERsize that truth in my heart, soul, head, DAILY. I will have bad days but I will get back up and I know the rock is solid truth. Watch out source of lies Adriana-Villafane-Johnson has turned into a fighter and taken her past and turned it into a blast of fire on her sword. The sword of truth, it cleans you out like a toxic health cleanse. The shadows will always be there but I am gaining the tools to fight when needed and called. To you I thank , I thank that is right YOU. To you I lift your chin up. To you I encourage you too, you can do this you are_______________________________. Move you got this and don't let go don't give up the good fight. Climb that mountain, soar on wings high, swim that lake, build that ditch, cook that meal, go to the fight the good fight you are Gods delight. You know what is right and you will know what it is in your life. Dig into your soul and know you can move forward. Pick up the glass pieces and put them back together and it just might look different but more beautiful and full.

Forgiveness: To give up or let go: relinquish (The sword cut what was held)

God's Flame:
Exodus 3:2 And the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a blazing fire from the midst of a bush; and the he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, yet the bush was not consumed.

His fire burns for you and it will never go out it will never be consumed. Can you feel it?

Adriana Villafane-Johnson

Third Day lyrics from the song I CAN FEEL IT

I seek the silence through the chaos and the noise
That's when I'm listening; I want to hear Your voice
Sometimes it softly speaks, a whisper on the wind
Sometimes it's louder when Your Spirit rushes in

I can feel it all around me
I can feel it all around me

I keep on searching for Your presence in this place
I see your hand at work, I feel Your touch of grace
Sometimes it falls like rain upon this thirsty land
Sometimes You gently stir the heart of every man

I can feel it
I can feel it
I can feel Your heartbeat

I pray You'd send Your presence down,
send it down
Fill us with Your Spirit now